Emotional intelligence (otherwise also known as emotional quotient or EQ) helps in building stronger relationships, success at work, and achieving career and personal goals. It can also help one to connect with their feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most.
Defining EQ / EI
Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to perceive, use, understand and manage emotions. People with high emotional intelligence can recognize their own emotions and those of others, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, and adjust emotions to adapt to environments.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
Key Elements
According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize emotional intelligence, the key elements are as follows:
- Self-management – Ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviours, manage ones emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
- Self-awareness – Recognizing own emotions and how they affect one’s thoughts and behaviour.
- Social awareness – One has empathy and can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.
- Relationship management – One knows how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.
Competencies of Emotional Intelligence
- Emotional Self Awareness is the ability to know own emotions and their effects on one’s performance.
- Self-Regulate is the ability to keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check in order to maintain one’s effectiveness under stressful or even hostile conditions.
- Positivity is the ability to see the best in people, situations, and events so that one can be persistent in pursuing goals despite setbacks and obstacles.
- Achieve means that one strives to meet or exceed a standard of excellence by embracing challenges, taking calculated risks and looking for ways to do things better.
- Adaptability means one can stay focused on your goals, but remain flexible in the face of change, can juggle multiple demands, and are open to new situations, ideas or innovative approaches.
- Empathy means one has the ability to sense others’ feelings and take an active interest in their concerns.
- Organizational Awareness is the ability to read a group’s emotional currents and power relationships, identifying influencers, networks, and the dynamics that matter in decision-making.
- Influence refers to the ability to have a positive impact on others and meaningfully engage people in order to get buy-in or gain their support.
- Coach is the ability to further the learning or development of others by understanding their goals, challenging them, giving them timely feedback, and offering them support.
- Inspire is the ability to bring one’s best and motivate others around a shared mission or purpose in order to get the job done.
- Teamwork is the ability to work with others toward a shared goal; build spirit and positive relationships; encourage active participation; and share responsibility and rewards among members of a group.
- Conflict Management is the ability to work through tense or highly charged situations by tactfully bringing disagreements into the open, seeking to understand multiple perspectives, and searching for common ground in order to find solutions people can agree to.
Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
- Utilize an assertive style of communicating without coming across as too aggressive or too passive. Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate their opinions and needs in a direct way while still respecting others.
- Respond instead of reacting to conflict. The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations. They don’t make impulsive decisions that can lead to even bigger problems.
- Utilize active listening skills. In conversations, emotionally intelligent people listen for clarity, they make sure they understand what is being said before responding. They also pay attention to the nonverbal details of a conversation.
- Be motivated. Emotionally intelligent people are self-motivated and their attitude motivates others. They set goals and are resilient in the face of challenges.
- Practice ways to maintain a positive attitude. Emotionally intelligent people have an awareness of the moods of those around them and guard their attitude accordingly. They know what they need to do in order to have an optimistic outlook.
- Practice self-awareness. Emotionally intelligent people are self-aware and intuitive. They are aware of their own emotions and how they can affect those around them. They also pick up on others’ emotions and body language and use that information to enhance their communication skills.
- Take critique well. High EQ people understand where the critique is coming from, how it is affecting others or their own performance and how they can constructively resolve any issues.
- Empathize with others. Emotionally intelligent people know how to empathize. They understand that empathy is a trait that shows emotional strength, not weakness. Empathy helps them to relate to others on a basic human level.
- Utilize leadership skills. Emotionally intelligent people have excellent leadership skills. They have high standards for themselves and set an example for others to follow. They take initiative and have great decision making and problem-solving skills.
- Be approachable and sociable. Emotionally intelligent people come off as approachable. They utilize appropriate social skills and know how to communicate clearly.
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References
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-eq.htm
https://wineindustryadvisor.com/2016/08/31/four-categories-emotional-intelligence
https://www.inc.com/young-entrepreneur-council/10-ways-to-increase-your-emotional-intelligence.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_59.htm