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Hit and run - The Week

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MY WEDDING ANNI-VER-SORRY

Folks go to Mountain to visit and say WOW,
The Government pays me to wake up in the snow and say HOLY COW,
When the Mercury outside shows twenty below,
I feel there is ICE under my Pillow,
Deeper and Deeper into the sleeping bag I want to bury,
Is how I woke up in my Wedding Anniversary.

Expecting to wake up getting kissed by my loving wife,
I find my Buddy..THAMBI trying to scare me out of my life,
With a glass of Tea..hot ..steaming and without any taste,
As the Cook opines that putting Sugar and Milk is purely a waste,
I’ve heard gentlemen drink Tea like this in English Countrr..y,
But I sure as hell hate it on my Wedding Anniversary.

Breakfast is Puri Sabji..no sausages or baked beans,
The smell is familiar..off course it is that of KEROSENE,
It is pure sacrilege to think of Bread,
Eggs are frozen which can break any head,
If this is the way my day is going to start..I need to worry,
It is dammunitioned funny way ..to spend a Wedding Anniversary.

Off course no perfect day can be completed..without climbing a Mountain,
It is a must for observing the enemy..inspite of being such a pain,
Thus I climb a thousand feet ..on my poor two,
People say FAUJI’s are CRAZY..and I think it is true,
My legs are like rubber and my vision is BLURRY,
But at last I’am on HIGH on my Wedding Anniversary.

My fate follows me as I am from ARTY,
So the essential occasion today is a Smashing Party,
Drinks are aplenty..that takes care of all WORRY,
Special Ration save the day and on the Menu is MUTTON CURRY,
Folks do not pity me or feel SORRY,
That’s the way I celebrated my WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

Parties are Okay..Celebrations are all fine,
But there something that beats
even good food and wine,
Whatever be the
Temperature..however be the weather,
The essence of being Married..lies in being TOGETHER,
To express such emotions and feelings..no rhymes are necessary,
We will certainly be together DEAR and CELEBRATE OUR NEXT WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

😎

This poem was written by me in 2001 when I was Commanding my Regiment in Leh and Siachen.

Satyesh Bhaduri
C/55

SMOKER OR NON SMOKER STATUS…DILEMA???

1. In Academy it was compulsory to select a Club to pursue one’s latent talent. Being a true blooded BONG I selected Hindi Dramatics Club.Do not be under any fallacy that I had immense talent or inclination for acting inspite of sharing the same surname of Jaya..Rita Bhaduri of Bollywood fame or Sishir Bhaduri a very noted theatre icon in Bengal …it was to the contrary I had no iota of acting prowress in my blood or genes.. . It was for four simple reasons….

Firstly to skip the end of term passing out drill and squadron drill competition.

Secondly to have a good sleep during rehearsals in cool auditorium.

Thirdly being a perpetual disciplinarian offender skipping the arduous physical aspect of punishment on garb of rehearsals and only attending the compulsory roll call in the night.

Lastly as the Club consisted of many ladies, so there was always sufficient eats of different types with hot tea..coffee or cocoa on offer to be consumed.

2. My role in the group was permanent pulling of the stage curtains during opening..interval and closing stages of the play. My Joridar was another HYBRID BONG( name not being disclosed)..let’s name him PARTHO ( Bengali way) and not Partha..All readers please do not laugh at our role because the role merited lots of coordination and synchronisation.the outcome of the play depended on our expertise….😈😈😈

3. The only role till date I enacted was that of an wounded soldier who died on the stage without any dialogue.I rehearsed it regularly with all my ability and dedication ,so on final day with adrenaline flowing and in front of the Academy senior officers and parents of passing out cadets I enacted my part with so much perfection that I banged my head on the concrete stage floor while falling dead ..resulted into a crack in my skull with blood oozing . I thought I did a superb acting to be graduated into more meatier role in future…but alas Mr Haldar of History Department ..our officer in charge after being admonished for my injury grudingingly reassigned me that all important portfolio of curtain puller again much to the amusement of Partho.😔😔😔

4. However luck has it’s own way of bestowing its benevolence. Our mid term play based on Rabindra Nath Tagore poem..PURATON BHRITYO..or Old Servant was liked by Commandant so much that he wanted the same to be enacted at end of term to the parents and visitors coming for passing out parade. 👏👏👏

5. Rehearsals continued in full swing with both of us diligently pulling the curtains with every rehearsals.. smoking together in the bush behind the auditorium during each break and eating voraciously whatever was offered. The role of the servant required speaking occasionally in colloquial Bengali and our star performer was doing a commendable job like us in our all important role of curtain pullers. But destiny do have it’s own rules and regulations.
Just a week prior to the show the lead actor was diagnosed with chicken pox and had to be isolated in MH .Now there was franatic chaos all around for his replacement. The choice homed on to two of us…Bongo Bondhus..from.DIDI’s lineage for the role.😚😚😚

6. I was confident I would get the role as Partho with his Anglesised looks and poor bengali diction vis a vis me a dark stocky Bengali village bumpkin with good control over colloquial Bengali was certainly a better choice….but still knowing Partho’s clout amongst the group I was bit sceptical.

7. So elated for being considered for the role..both of us confirmed smokers thought of celebrating the occasion by smoking our prized possession without sharing at our regular spot behind the auditorium. 🤣🤣🤣

8.As we lighted our fags I heard a franatic shrill decibel of a lady calling my name. Reluctantly I had to give my lighted SANJEEVINI BUTI to my dear friend to acknowledge the call.Unfortunately I could not return back as the heroine ( Name withheld) , daughter of an civilian instructor …let say Indira .. dear friend of mine was treating all with cakes which her mother had baked.🎂🎂🎂Partho had a field day smoking both our share without any disturbance.

9. During selection for the role Mr Haldar who took permission from the authorities for smoking in the stage to bring in more authenticity firstly confirmed from both of us regarding our smoking status. The permission later I was told was given on the condition that only non smokers was to be assigned the role, to avoid addiction in future.

10.On being asked I innocently answered my status in negative and Parrho followed suit.But as Partho after smoking two of our prized possession prior to the selection smelt like a puffed up engine, thus failed miserably☻☻☻ and the role fell on my lap to my relief.😂😂😂

11. The role warranted smoking twice during the complete play and hence I was also rationed two of those for each day of rehearsal.One more clause for the permission was that only cigarette to be smoken as smoking biddis or KD’s ( Khakhi Dress) was felt to be hampering the OLQ status of future officers…so Panama non filter cigarettes were procured and each cigarette broken into two for the day.Initially coughing and choking I played my novice smoker role to perfection to the gallery much to the amusement of Indira and jealousy of Partho.😉😉😉After two days discarding all my pretensions I started smoking and enjoying it like a true professional. However with true NDA spirit I always hid the second portion of the cigarette for
Partho and me to smoke in leisure.😊😊😊

12. Today also when occasionally me..my wife.. Indira who is settled in City of Joy and her husband meet , she still offers me half portion of famous Panama Cigarette to rekindle our old memories.😋😋😋…So full status cycle of Smoker..NonSmoker..Smoker or Non smoker ( Vicious Confusing Cycle) continues and perhaps likely to continue.🙄🙄🙄……My humble reminiscence..NDA Musing🙏🙏🙏

ACADEMY MUSINGS….1….FROM THE ARCHIVES

By Satyesh Nath Bhaduri
C/55

1. It is often heard that records are being made and again bettered subsequently in all fields of activities. Well your truly was also an exceptional record holder in his Academy Days but albeit from the reverse side.The spectacular performance started from first semester or term and continued all six semesters till passing out…For records… Always on the magic figure of 41 not out..restrictions one less for relegation eligibility beside numerous small punishments.😔😔😔

2. Just fresh from civvies street one came to know the alternative name of Inspection of Squadron Residential rooms known as cabins was CABIN CUPBOARD and its modus operandi which was another MONKEY ON OUR BACK beside other tiring outdoor physical activities for us freshers..🙄🙄🙄Painstakingly we were tutored about the items to be displayed and its location in the cabin including doing up the bed..tieing of mosquito nets..shoes and even bathroom slippers location by the appointment holders.🤨🤨🤨

3. Sanjay the TANT from Pune..Ajay the BABUA from Laloo land and me from City of Joy were good friends and subsequently known as famous TRINITY..One thing that united us… seventeen year youngsters was unlike Burly well built hairy brethren ..sorry creatures in the course and squadron….we were fragile specimens with hardly any trace of hair on our lips or chin….😋😋😋

4. As Shaving kit was an important displaying item we were in a dilema.Tant came with a great idea of displaying ANNE FRENCH in lieu which he saw his sister using to effect. However he candidly confessed that he would get his father’s razor set and Babua was promised one from his fellow countrymen Thakur of our Barber shop. That leaves me and without any other alternative decided to take a cheeky single .Procuring new one from local shopping centre was also a NO GO. due to paucity of allotted pocket money.Sanjay being a true friend slipped during night surreptitiously and cycling 20 Kms to and fro got his sister’s bottle of Anne French ..swab of cotton and plastic spatula .😉😉😉

5. The inspection was a disaster which started with a bad omen.A stray mongrel who took asylum under the window of my cabin started crying and wailing as soon as Inspecting Officer along with appointment holders entered my cabin.😈😈😈

6. The Divisional Officer was dumbfounded and perplexed to see bottle of ANNE FRENCH with its accessories proudly displayed where the Shaving Kits were ought to be…He almost fainted on hearing me that the lotion is being used by me to maintain smoothness of my skin as I do not have stubble on my chin or hair on my. lips. Groggily he told the Cadet Sergent Major to check my sex and granted me 7 days Extra Drills as hard punishments were barred to be given to the freshers for first two months ..The sadistic Sergent Major went a step further and forced me to dry shave with blunt razor given by him without any cream. Result was scarred face like JOE the INJUN and fertile field of rich and healthy growth of hair every morning on the face.🤨🤨🤨

7. Being an optimistic man I started appreciating the positive side of this incident. Although I opened the innings for my course on punishment but became a folklore amongst my coursemates and squadron mates and was nicknamed as DADA … FAMOUS…or is it INFAMOUS for DADAGIRI….😊😊🤣🤣