Being a blue blooded BANGALI …from my childhood like many others of my Bengali siblings I had weaknesses for MONKEY CAP…UMBRELLAS…PHISH( Fish)….MUTTON CURRY WITH HOT RICE FOR SUNDAY LUNCH..PHUTBOLL( FOOTBALL)…SWEETS OF VARIOUS CONCOTION..ARDENT TRAVELLING and YES you heard it right…the OMNIPRESENT luxury the KOLBALISH or PASHBALISH which are found in different sizes for all ages in any Bedding Stores in BENGAL.
We the Bengalis(Residents of the State of West Bengal) ..irrespective of our caste..creed..colour..languages..political/religious affinity are invoked through cliches known to others through…ROSOGOLLAS…DURGA PUJA…TRAMS..HOWRAH BRIDGE..YELLOW TAXIS but it is possesion and usage of only PASHBALISH OR KOLBALISH makes a Bengali a TRUE BANGALI.
To be straight and honest other than a Bengali no body truly understands the power or value of KOLBALISH. They are attached to its strings like small unborn babies are attached to their mother’s umbilical chords. The relation between a True Bengali and KOLBALISH are irrevocable and wedded for life. The idea of the comfort and safety of side pillows are deeply embedded into conscious/unconscious psyche of our creed.
The bedding composition in small/medium/big size luxury Bengali owned hotels..Government Guest Houses/Tourist Lodges/Guest houses are not complete if there are no KOLBALISH in its package .Does it not prove our eternal love for this valuable item and its unparalleled popularity. For us BONGs….HAPPINESS IS HUGGING A KOLBALISH AND SLEEPING LATE ON WEEKENDS…..
If somebody is of impression that a PASHBALISH can be easily made with some left over unused clothes stuffed in a cloth cocoon like stuffing a gunny bag or beans bag…then the individual is miles off the target. On the contrary it must have a real cotton stuffing and as per my Paternal Grandmother..the stuffed cotton must have prominent cotton seeds protruding outside to act as BABY NIPPLES.The seeds must be easy to roll through fingers by the child to provide a MOTHERLY FEELING before getting immersed into deep peaceful slumber. For a Bengali like me who had grown up with this novel invention…AN ETERNAL MATE…GOOD MORNING OR GOOD NIGHT…JUST INSEPARABLE….REALLY LUCKY TO HAVE IT IN MY LIFE…JUST MINE…SIMPLY MINE……
In fact a Proper KOLBALISH or PASHBALISH must be a plain spotless white cotton cover pulled through draw stick. Now a days with everything DESIGNER..there are hoardes of Designer Pashbaalish in the market. However for an old timer like me nothing can beat the classic 100 percent cotton ones properly stuffed with pure cotton inside..
However I did encountered a bizarre experience which forced me to change my old habit of wearing White Pyjama while retiring to bed for the night.One may ask why such an obnoxious crazy decision….well it happened during one of my official visit as part of an official entourage abroad.As I was told to be part of the visiting team being a Staff officer to a Army Senior Officer at short notice, I had requested my wife to pack my stuff which I was to pick up on way to Airport.My wife dutiful as she is packed all stuff properly ironed. But the calamity and catastrophe started when I unpacked my stuff for the night after an Official Dinner and found that instead of my favourite white pyjamas she had packed a spotless KOLBALISH cover mistakingly. My plight for those seven days was just miserable.As for Security Reasons our hotel rooms were fitted with CCTV Cameras I could not sleep in my birthday suit less I be mistaken for something otherwise….hotel white towels and White Towel gowns came to my rescue. However with every ring especially for the house cleaning staff which were predominantly female I had to hide in the washroom pretending taking a bath in cold wintery weather and coming out with my dressing gown properly wrapped whenever house cleaning Staff left
the room. So perplexed was I that I requested the Assistance to direct the house cleaning maids to clean the room during my absence. I did tell my predicament to the Hotel Manager who laughed out aloud and presented me with a beautiful hand sewn white Turkish Towel gown as a parting gift. Till date I have that beautiful white bath gown properly covered and kept as a memory of my seven days ordeal in far off land and for reminding me my vow to never wear a white pyjama as Night Dress…🤣🤣🤣
In our younger days it used to be a religious affair like any other Bengali family twice a year to churn over the cotton inside all pillows with special emphasis on KOLBALISH to maintain its puffiness and its softness/cosiness by the weavers in terraces. Unfortunately with our Mechanical life style this unique ritual has since ceased in urban areas in majority of our households.For a die hard son of the Bengal soil I remember my uncle’s saying…MY FRIEND..YEARS AND YEARS WILL PASS..TEARS WILL DIE..SMILE MAY CEASE…BUT THE EXISTING BONDAGE WITH PASHBALISH WILL NEVER END…..To keep our childhood memory intact the initial cotton used during childhood is recycled for further used properly churned till it becomes dust. A glittering example of CONSERVATION OF RESOURCES…But till date one thing remain ambiguous that KOLBALISH or PASHBALISH mostly remain an integral part of Male domain in most of our household…for a Male BONG…THEY WOULD BE INCOMPLETE WITHOUT HAVING A SIDEPILLOW AS THEIR OWN…THEIR FIRST LOVE AND PERHAPS LAST LOVE BEFORE DYING…..
Kolbalish in Bengali comprises of two parts…KOL MEANS LAP…BALISH MEANS PILLOW OR A LAP PILLOW IN ENGLISH..It can be hugged or cuddled passionately and slowly it turns into an item of BUDDING ROMANCES.
FAILED RELATIONS…REPOSITORY TEARS…BROKEN DREAMS or just for MERE COMFORT by keeping it in a lap.I have seen my grandfather keeping biscuits and snacks plate during morning bed tea or evening after siesta tea.For my sisters it used to be their best friend…THERAPIST AND NURSEMAID rolled into one. Perhaps the young ladies of our house were impressed to see old times Bengali movie heroines cuddling their side pillows and speaking/singing with dreamy eyes. Once I heard my eldest sister comforting my elder brother TO TIDE OVER HIS ROMANTIC PROBLEMS BY JUST SLEEPING WITH HIS KOLBALISH….she told him that GIRLFRIEND/ BOYFRIEND MAY COME AND GO BUT A EVER FAITHFUL PASHBALISH WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO MOTIVATE FOR FIRTHER SOJURNS……It was only did I realise in my life later that KOLBALISH REMAINS WITH US THROUGH FAILURES..DESPAIR…UNEMPLOYMENT…HEARTBREAKS…HAPPINESS AND MAY BE EVEN WAR…..
When I joined National Defence Academy, my old grandmother insisted that KOLBALISH be packed in my bed roll.Fortunately/Unfortunately her desire and decision was vetoed by my grandfather and father . But I confess now that I remembered sleepless nights as Cadet in Academy being separated from my friends..families…hhome cooked food and off course my friend and confidante my PASHBALISH. I did try putting my head pillows as substitute but that divine comfort was sadly missing. When I used to come back on vacation nothing could spelt home more than the comfort of my KOLBALISH. It was the same soft..dependable..cost effective..comforting as I had left it. Nothing could substitute the peace and tranquility which I felt with my friend..not even the only AC room in my uncle’s room those days..As far as Iam concerned I echo my grandmother golden words that TRUE LOVE HAPPENS ONCE IN YOUR LIFE TIME BUT KOLBALISH IS THERE FOREVER….
Every Bengali household generally have an unique PASHBALISH or KOLBALISH history of it’s own. In our young days when generally journey used to be mostly through Trains…the compulsory baggage for any journey used to be BED ROLL or HOLD ALL and its major constituent used to be the Bong favourite KOLBALISH…the Security Blankets of us BANGALIS.I still remember two incidents very vividly till date.During one of our train journey ( family tour) to Hardwar and Rishikesh we a large group were travelling with proper reservation in Doon Express.One of my uncle with big protruding belly was in the uppermost berth. It was well after dinner perhaps midnight when we all woke up with shout from the opposite lower berth where my auntie was sleeping. We all woke up to see my uncle dangling from the berth almost about to fall deep asleep with his PASHBALISH strongly sandwiched between his legs.On being awakened he promptly told that it would had been all right if he had fallen as long he could ensure the KOLBALISH properly in the berth. As per him it would had been disgrace to hurt the vanity and sanctity of KOLBALISH beside his true love getting dirty.
Second incident I remember when we saw one of my elder sister dangling in the Mosquito Net deeply asleep in Rishikesh Dharamshala with Kolbalish firmly between her legs…..Both these incidents only prove that as long as comfort of PASHBALISH is there any sane/insane Bengali can sleep peacefully …contented with no fear in the world.
I have heard stories about Bengali children often crying in posh hotels when not provided Pashbalish..not being considered by the authoroties an essential part of the bedding.The crying used to be stopped only when such side pillows were provided..even if required to be procured from local market.
There is perhaps no deep peaceful sleep without PASHBALISH…the greatest and innovative invention Bengali has ever made as per my Dadu’s saying. You feel elevated ..elated and regal with PASHBALISH beside you he always felt.But once I grew up I started validating my Dadu’s saying and statement. It then got revealed to me that such concocted pillows albeit made of stone used to be in vogue in Mesopotamian…Roman and Greek civilisation. In fact if you are Asterix fans such numerous depiction in all Inns is very prominently displayed.I also found out that even in Egyptian civilisation pillows of cylindrical curved structures extensively used to rest the tired heads.But nevertheless being a Proud Bengali Iam convinced that the soft ..modern comfortable KOLBALISH is created by some enterprising Bengali although history says that it is during Chinese Civilisation stone side pillows were changed to soft lin en one.😋😋🙄🙄🙄
In our family there was never any precedence of demanding items from bride’s house.Our elders were against any dowry and it is still believed in our family that every parents gives their daughter the best during marriage as per their affordability. During our marriage there was never a question of any exception especially when our marriage was culminating after our courtship.
My maternal widowed grandmother was a very witty person but all her jokes.. statements..sentences used always used to culminate into BELOW THE BELT( DADA KONDKE TYPE) ones much to our embarrassment. However to be fair to her all of us irrespective of age used to generally wait for her so called NON VEGETERIAN JOKES/COMMENTS AND HER COLOURFUL VISIONARY TIT BITS AND TALKS.
While discussing items for the marriage my grandmother or DIDA told my mother to ensure that a pure white cotton PASHBALISH or KOLBALISH of best quality be ensured by bride’s family. On being asked her about such weird demand , she without batting an eyelid said that Married Men especially who is about to tie the nuptial knot do not require such side pillows as life flesh and blood KOLBALISH for comfort is always available every night. But for a widow like her for last ten years she was in desperate need of one.She further added that KOLBALISH IS THE ONLY CREATIVE THING THAT SERV ES COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY FEAR OF LOOSING ONE ‘S CHASTITY.
Later through her we came to know that such sidepillows existed in other South Asian countries as well. In Japan and in many South Asian countries the wives used to pack the self scented sidepillows when their husband’s used to proceed to far away counries for personal or buisness reasons. It was meant to be a substitute for the flesh blooded wives which the husband could wrap and cuddle snugly before falling asleep.In Indonesia it was known as DUTCH WIVES
Iam sure most of us see Movies. Except Bengali Movies I do not recollect the actor/actress singing with sidepillows as a prop. Few days back I saw a Hollywood Movies 1942 Love Story where a HAIRY hero portraying romance was rendering some romantic melody by tearing a head pillow.For a Bengali it was TOTAL DISRESPECT TO A TRUSTED FRIEND. In Bengali movies on the contrary especially the older ones one could frequently see hero/heroine singing soulful songs while toying with the PASHBALISH.Even in Bengali Detective Movies the hero generally solves any mystery or case by smoking cigarettes lying on the bed with KOLBALISH as foot rest.Ironical but true our ideas frutify only when there is a trusted KOLBALISH or PASHBALISH at our side.I was told by my sister that one popular Bengali band has composed a hit song on KOLBALISH. 🤔🤔🤔
Lately the famous KOLBALISH has been used as political overtures by none other than the CM of the state.Lately during COVID 19 scare Mockery and Caricature was initiated on CMs direction to sleep in the house with COVID 19 as PASHBALISH. Without being political I personally feel that most did not understood her contention of the statement. She must have meant as an advice to all to stay at home keeping COVID 19 at bay by treating it as sidepillows..a friend by taking all precautions. Think …does any one other than Bengalis can think about such simile or Metaphor….🙄🙄🙄🙄
I end again with some quotes of my DIDA for all readers to understand holistically the importance of KOLBALISH or PASHBALISH in our Bangali lives…her golden words were…
KOLBALISH does not gain/loose weight like a lady…it always remain the same…..
It does not nag or complain like a typical wife. It supports your dreams no matter what they are…
It does not demand any birthday/Anniversary celebration or gift. Only a new white cotton cover every year is enough to maintain peace and tranquility…..
KOLBALISH was/is there when you were NOBODY/OR WHEN PRESENT STATURE IS ATTAINED…
So hope you all would agree that like all Bengalis..KOLBALISH is the BEST ALL WEATHER FRIEND…AND EVERY BANGALI IS PROUD OF IT….Do try it…May be productive and useful😂😂😂