As we got to the end of our NDA stay, I wasn’t particularly expecting any medals or anything. So it was nice to learn that I would be given an actual medal for academics. Somehow I was set up as 4th in rank, 2nd in science stream. Well, that sounded a bit exciting. Wow, a medal!
We had to do drill practice for getting the medal. It was an indoor ceremony. The other 3 didn’t seem to be taking it too seriously, but it was the only medal I was getting, so I was fully attentive and serious.
The drill involved marching up the stairs. The SM saab explained the correct form for the march up the stairs – you had to pretend as if you were going to stomp on the stair, but then had to control your leg so you actually put the foot down very softly, without making any noise.
Ok, sounded like fun, controlling the leg muscles that carefully. Only, the other 3 just totally ignored the SM saab, and kept making loud noises, stomping on the stairs. Nobody said anything. I wondered what was going on, but the other 3 were very busy in important ceremonial stuff as they were getting the medals in the full POP and I am sure there were other duties. So I didn’t get a chance to talk to any of them about this minor detail. The SM saab was supportive of my drill.
The next practice, the principal was present. Now the other 3 banged on the stairs, and I put my foot down softly. So to the principal, it looked like I was shamming, and not even bothering to make the proper military noise. He yelled at me a bit. I used to think he was a useless git, and looked at the SM saab for direction. He had an expression “What an idiot” for the principal, and after the principal had walked away, he told me I was doing well.
So in the actual ceremony, I continued putting my foot down very softly. I had to think about that one – the whole academy was watching, and perhaps many present would think I was shamming. But I knew the correct procedure, and by then had a “I don’t care what people think” attitude totally down, so I decided I was going to do what was the correct procedure, and the one I had drilled for, never mind what everybody thought.
So I was the only one soft-stepping in that ceremony. Not sure how it looked, for after that we were gone from the academy, and I never got a chance for any academy-feedback.
How did I feel about the medal winners?
Looking back, it seems obvious this was a matter of some speculation.
I was fairly idealistic in my behavior towards others, however I have to admit to a bit of human failings – I felt a “Bihari-type” pride for Ajit Singh.
I did not feel a “Squadron Type” pride as much for RS Yadav. I would have, but the fact was that since he became a BCA – while I never resented his becoming a BCA even a single bit – I did resent that within the squadron he seemed to be taking my place a little, due to the appointment. He was taking away some of the approval that I sub-consciously considered my due. This, I believe, was the cause of some friction between us. (Sorry, bro, if you read this, I seem to recall I owe you an apology.) Whatever the reasons, I remember I didn’t feel the normal “squadron type” pride that I would have, but I was certainly not negative by any means. It was neutral.
I am sorry, I don’t remember the name of the 3rd medal winner. I don’t believe I knew him much. Since he was also the first prize winner in science, I would have said this to him if I had been sensitive back then about such things – “Bro, never ever feel that you have hurt me. Because you have not. Really, in reality, that’s just how it is – you have not hurt me.” Though I assume the person would have just thought “orders are orders” or something like that.
My own accomplishments had become a source of satisfaction and pride to me, and I got a lot of subtle approval. I didn’t feel the need in that context for any more approval, or any more sources of satisfaction and pride. I was just happy to be there.
Mukesh,
firstly I admire your writing at the forum where no one reads, leave alone read, deliberate , consider and reply.
One thing I have realized over the years is that nothing is absolute. Given the right place and time , talents flourish ; medal or no medal. I for one came hurtling down from 55A to 55C in my second term and was just too happy to clear my Physics , the subject I had scored distinction in Higher Sec.
I never believed those grades then . I don’t believe them now. Well had I been graded as a topper , May be I would have believed . 😉
I had little choice about believing in the PT tests… I _had_ to believe the high jump bar, the long jump line, the distance the shot-put went, my enclosure in the x-country (well, that one, one time there was some unbelief in that one) 🙂
PS: Murali, now you finally have a chance to check out the physics topper’s physics yourself, one-on-one! Check out my book “A New Science: From Light to Eternity”. In 55-A science class, I had some doubts about Special Relativity. The teacher wasn’t able to clear those doubts for me. I carried those doubts with me, and in the book you can see where it led me. Let me know what physics grade you would give me on this book and why 🙂